okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
