I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
