i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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