Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
