he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
