you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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