Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize