Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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