is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
