Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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