do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
