yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i out mim tonsoeep
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