just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
