it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
