it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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