i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
