No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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