you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
