Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
