I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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