ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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