Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
