if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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