just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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