have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
