addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize