we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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