Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
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Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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