They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
