and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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