we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
