I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.