The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.