If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea