batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye