Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
