I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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