just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
