that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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