After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
