My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
