You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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