ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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