the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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