She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
