Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize