Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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