I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're like the curious george of whores
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Green mimosas i think yes
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
