I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize