Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize