Can Purell be used as lube?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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