If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Acid is not a monday night drug
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I AM VODKA MAN
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
