Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
