Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
