Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
