Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
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please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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