why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
