the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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