Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
