I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
