so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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