kristin has been a bad kristin
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
