Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
