There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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