i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need water and some morals
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
