Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.