Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck

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(925): View more from California

You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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(949): View more from California

if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.

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(310): View more from California

Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life

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