Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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(251): View more from Alabama

About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Fair enough.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.

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