Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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