i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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