hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
