Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
