cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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