At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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