I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
