great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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