I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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