yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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