I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
