so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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