Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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