The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
