And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
