I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my sisters under your porch take her home
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize