im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize