How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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