do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
