If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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