its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
