erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
