everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize